Jealousy
by MotherTucker
Summary: ON HIATUS INDEFINITELY. Post Unholiest Alliance, established Tuckson. Liv's trying to repair her relationship with Barba, and Tucker is still holding a grudge. I thought the show didn't really give us a resolution for Barson and their fallout after MT/UA. This is my attempt at that, and Tucker's reaction.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own 'em, I just bring them out to play...

"I have to work with him," Olivia said in frustration. "I can't do that if we don't figure out how to get past this."

"He almost cost you your command," Ed answered. His voice was rough, and he was refusing to make eye contact.

"He didn't have a choice," she said. "It was his job."

The look he gave her said that he didn't believe that even she bought that argument. Maybe Barba had a duty to report, but not the way he did it.

"He could have warned you, given you a heads up, something." Ed said through clenched teeth.

Olivia knew he was right about that. She also knew that her split second hesitation to tell Barba about her relationship with Tucker had hurt their friendship. Had hurt Barba.

It had been over a week since she'd been transferred back. Ed had been reinstated three days ago. In her short time back, it hadn't gone unnoticed that Barba was still deferring to Dodds if he needed something from the squad.

She needed to talk to him and try to get back some semblance of trust. She couldn't do that in front of her squad, so she'd asked Tucker if he'd stay and get Noah breakfast while she met Barba for Sunday brunch. He'd bristled at the request last night, but he agreed. She was a little surprised that he didn't bring it up when they went to bed.

"Holding a grudge against Barba doesn't solve anything." Olivia said. Her anger was building, too. This was going to be difficult enough without having to fight Ed on the merits of it.

Tucker was pissed. Sunday brunch was theirs, dammit. She was ditching him for Barba, of all people.

During their forced time off, they'd gotten into a routine of him coming over for dinner on Saturday and spending the night. They'd enjoy a lazy Sunday morning before taking Noah to brunch. He'd hoped that as long as their work schedules permitted, it would be a tradition they kept. He couldn't bring himself to explain his disappointment, so he went with anger instead.

He was even more annoyed that she was right. He was having a hard time not holding a grudge. His relationship with Olivia was still new, and something as dramatic as both of them almost losing their jobs could have derailed them before they even got going. Ed knew they weren't kids anymore and wouldn't likely throw in the towel so easily, but he'd felt so guilty when Olivia was transferred because of their relationship. A part of him had feared she wouldn't stick it out with him after that.

Now that things were back to normal, It was difficult not to channel those feelings into anger toward Barba. He understood her need to have a professional rapport with the ADA, but this had a personal element to it and that irked him.

"If this upsets you so much, why did you agree to stay with Noah?" She said interrupting his thoughts. "I could have just called Lucy and let you go home."

He looked up at her then, and she was a little shocked to see that it wasn't anger in his eyes anymore. He looked like she'd literally injured him.

"I don't want to go home, Liv." His voice was controlled and quiet. He just wanted her to stay.

She couldn't help but soften a bit. He seemed almost vulnerable, and she didn't understand what caused the shift in him. She was supposed to meet Barba in 20 minutes, so she really didn't have time to delve into this any more. Still, she hated to leave without something resembling a resolution.

"I know you understand why I have to fix this with him," she said. "What I don't understand is why this bothers you so much."

"Just go," Ed said flatly before looking down. "It's okay."

She started to protest, but another look at her watch told her that she needed to leave now to avoid being more than a few minutes late. She was torn.

"I don't like leaving with things so… unresolved," she said and ducked her head trying to regain eye contact.

"It's okay," he said. Then he gave her what she needed and slowly looked up at her. "Really."

Olivia could tell by his still clenched jaw that he wasn't happy, but he'd put the pained expression away. She put her hand on his cheek and placed a quick kiss on the other.

"We'll talk later," she said. She grabbed her raincoat, and checked to make sure she had her keys and phone. Satisfied she had everything she needed, she scanned the room for Noah. She spotted him behind the sofa playing with some blocks. She rushed over and kissed the top of his head.

"Bye bye, Noah," she said. He looked up from his toys. "Be a good boy, I'll be back in a little while."

"Cakes?" Noah asked.

Olivia looked surprised by the question. Noah always ordered pancakes when they went out on Sundays. Neither adult realized that Noah had gotten used to their routine, too. Ed just gave them both a sad smile.

"How about I make you some pancakes, buddy?" Ed said, hopeful that Noah wouldn't be upset that Liv was leaving.

"Cakes!" Noah shouted. Apparently the guest list and location weren't as important as the menu.

Olivia ruffled his hair, then headed for the door. "I'll be back in a couple hours."

Ed nodded and turned his attention to Noah.

SVUSVUSVU

Olivia made it to the restaurant just as the rain began to fall. She cursed herself for forgetting to bring an umbrella. The forecast was all rain. Cold, unforgiving rain.

It fit her mood. She'd hurt Barba by not telling him about Tucker. She'd apparently hurt Tucker by wanting to fix things with Barba. And she was missing Ed cooking pancakes for Noah. She didn't even know that was something he knew how to do.

Bring on the rain, Olivia thought as she looked around the bar area. She didn't see Barba anywhere. She was a bit relieved. Her morning argument with Ed had set her on edge. She'd used the ten block walk to the restaurant to try to clear her head, but she was still thankful for a couple extra minutes.

"Can I help you?"

Olivia turned to find a young blond hostess had appeared. "Oh, I'm meeting someone, but I don't think he's here yet."

"Name?" The girl said.

Olivia just looked at her. She didn't understand why that mattered.

"Do you have a reservation?" the hostess explained.

"I don't think so," Olivia answered. Barba just gave her the location and time.

"Then you'll have to sit at the bar," the girl said dismissively.

Olivia looked at the bar. It was packed. She didn't see two seats next to each other anywhere, and all the high tops in the area were occupied. She just shrugged at the hostess, and decided to wait for Barba to arrive. It was already 10:40, so he should be there any minute.

Her phone suddenly buzzed in her pocket. She saw that it was a text from Barba and hoped he wasn't bailing on her.

 _I've got a table upstairs. Near the windows on the left._

Olivia turned back to the hostess station and saw a set of stairs near the door. She hadn't realized there was a second floor. When she reached the top of the narrow stairway, she spotted him right away.

Barba was dressed casually, in khakis and a blue polo. She could tell by the way his jaw was set that he was just as uncertain and uncomfortable as she was. But he'd agreed to talk, and he'd shown up. That had to be a good sign.

"Olivia," he said as he stood to greet her. He took her coat and hung it on a hook on the side of the tall wooden booth.

"Sorry, I'm late," she gushed as she dropped into the seat opposite him. "I didn't know you had a table."

"No problem," he said. "This place fills up pretty quickly, so I made a reservation when we decided to… talk."

"So you've been here before?" She asked trying to make normal small talk.

"Yeah, it's Mamí's favorite brunch spot." He answered.

She asked about his mom. He asked about Noah. They kept up the light small talk until the waitress came to take their order. It was awkward. They both felt it, but they both wanted to delay the inevitable.

The waitress left them in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before returning with their drinks, a Bloody Mary for Barba and a mimosa for Olivia. He tilted his glass toward her. She gave him a look before clinking hers to his. A truce of sorts. A few more seconds of silence passed before neither could take it any longer.

"Liv, I…" Barba started.

"Look, I'm sorry." Olivia said at the same time.

They both stopped and looked each other in the eye. Neither knew how to continue.

Barba hadn't expected an apology from her. He assumed that she was expecting an apology from him which made him angry. He'd only being doing his job. He had no choice. Still, he felt guilty, which just made him more upset.

Olivia saw the surprise on his face. He thought she was still angry. Part of her still was. Ed was right, Barba could have given her a heads up. At the end of the day, she knew that he did what he had to do. Maybe he thought she knew that's what he'd do. She finally sucked it up and decided to break the silence.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," she said. She looked at him. There was something else he was trying to mask, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

"Everything with Ed was so new, and we hadn't told anyone other than Lucy at that point." Her voice was higher than normal and she was speaking so quickly her words were running together. She felt she had to get out as much of her explanation as she could.

He didn't stop her. Aside from the cloud of emotion he was trying to conceal by averting his gaze, he didn't react at all. She continued.

"The accusations against him. I had no idea that was coming when Dodds and I walked in your office." She was still rushing her speech, so she took a deep breath and tried to pace herself. There was no reason to be nervous. The damage was done. The things that mattered, hers and Ed's jobs, were safe.

That was it. There was one more thing that mattered. Rafael Barba. Over the past four years, he'd grown to become one of her closest allies and friends. The past year had been rough on their relationship, and she was scared as hell that this would be the final nail in that coffin.

"I wasn't ready for you to know…" She began.

He winced. It was just barely noticeable, but she saw it.

"It's not even that," she backtracked. "I wasn't prepared for you to ask about it. I didn't even know how to process the case I thought we had against his cousin, so learning that they were trying to pin in on Ed." Her voice broke, and she paused for a minute to take a sip of her mimosa.

Barba still hadn't said a word. Other than an occasional flit of his eyes to hers, he barely acknowledged her. He just pushed his food around on his plate. At some point the waitress must have sat the plates in front them, but neither remembered when.

She took a breath and tried to think of what else she could say. She wasn't sure that anything she'd said so far made sense or if it had even gotten through to him.

"I get that you're mad at me for not telling you," she reluctantly began again. Her speech had finally slowed as she tried to wade through this awkward conversation.

"I'm not mad, Olivia." He said it so quietly, she almost missed it. Her eyes told him that she didn't believe him.

"I'm not mad," he repeated. He put his fork down and pushed his plate of uneaten eggs benedict to the side. Olivia hadn't touched her french toast either.

He closed his eyes and debated his next words. Should he just tell her the truth? Could he explain it in a way that preserved his ego and allowed her to understand?

"I'm not mad, I'm hurt," he finally continued. "There's a difference."

Now she was the one rendered speechless. What did that even mean?

"I'm hurt because I thought we were friends," he said. His voice was tight, like when he was trying to hold back his emotions during a closing argument for a lose-lose case. It betrayed a hell of a lot more than his words were, but Olivia still couldn't figure out what he wasn't telling her.

"It was a bad situation," she offered. That was a stupid thing to say. "I mean, there were no easy choices for anyone. It was like a perfect storm."

"Yeah," he mused. "A perfect shit storm."

She laughed a little. So did he. They looked at each other. Each held a bit of sadness because they were talking, almost laughing, but things still weren't right. They could both feel it.

"How do we fix this?" He asked and took a drink of his bloody mary.

"I don't know," she answered. She thought for a minute. If they were going to get past this, they had to talk about whatever it was that he wasn't telling her. She felt like she'd laid all her cards on the table. He was still holding back. "Can I ask you something?"

He just raised his eyebrows and cocked his head. That was the whole point of this awkwardness.

"I get that I hurt you by not coming right out and telling you, and I am truly sorry," she said. "But I also think that you understand why I didn't and how I was caught off guard."

"I do," he said without hesitation.

"Then why can't you forgive me?"

He sighed and looked down shaking his head. He didn't know how to explain this to her without giving her the wrong impression.

"Try," she prompted, sensing his uncertainty.

He looked at her again. She almost thought he looked embarrassed. What the hell was his problem?

"Barba." She said impatiently. "Is it because it's Tucker?"

She knew that various members of her squad would likely be surprised and possibly even upset at her new relationship, but Barba didn't have a history with Ed. She hadn't anticipated that being an issue.

He was back to not talking at all. She was getting annoyed. They didn't have time for this. She still had to get home and smooth things over with Ed. That thought made her laugh a slightly bitter laugh.

"This is funny?" He said.

"It's just that Ed is pissed that I'm here talking to you but can't seem to tell me why. That probably pisses you off for some reason that you won't tell me. The longer you won't talk to me, the longer this is going to take, and then Ed will be even more pissed."

She knew she was rambling, but this was just stupid. She and Barba were friends. There was no reason not to just hash this out. Unless?

Olivia looked at him. The guilt was back. For what? There was something else. Something she couldn't reconcile with the man before her.

Barba's eyes didn't lie. He suddenly wasn't holding back anything. He couldn't tell her with words, but somehow she saw it. It made no sense.

"You're not jealous of Tucker?" She asked quickly.

"Not for why you think," he answered and looked down at his drink.

"I don't think anything," she said. "I… I mean, you and I, that isn't… wasn't…" She looked to him for an explanation. That was never in the cards for either of them. She was quite certain.

"I'm not jealous because I want…" Barba started this but didn't know how to explain without saying he didn't want her like that. He knew she didn't have those feelings for him either, but it still seemed unkind to say out loud.

"I know," Olivia said.

"Do you?" he asked. "I'm not jealous because I want a romantic relationship with you." He blurted out. He steeled himself for his next admission.

"Then what?" She asked. "I don't understand what you're trying to say here, but I want to." She reached across the table with her palm up. When he didn't reciprocate, she moved back to fiddling with the straw in her drink.

"It just feels like you don't need me anymore," he said keeping his eyes focused on the table, his hands, his drink, anything but her.

That threw her. She knew he wasn't interested in her as a partner or girlfriend. But what did he mean she didn't need him anymore?

"When we first met, you didn't trust me." He said matter-of-factly.

She felt like she had whiplash from this conversation. He's hurt because he thinks she doesn't need him, and he's explaining that by jumping back to a time that it didn't even matter?

He stifled her protest with a raised hand. "Admit it. We butted heads a few times that first year?"

She still didn't know what he was getting at, but she smiled at the memories. They'd tested each other. Pushed each other. Eventually, they'd found that they worked really well together. They slowly became friends. As if reading her thoughts, he continued.

"Over the last few years, you've become…" his voice cracked. "You're important to me. You're one of my closest friends."

"And you, mine," she said.

"Am I?" He asked, the hurt feelings evident in his clipped tone.

"Of course."

"Things haven't been the same since the 2-7," he said. "I've hated that."

"Me too," she agreed. This year hadn't been easy on their relationship, professionally or personally.

"And now, you have…" He was struggling to get this out.

"Now, I have Ed," she said, finally understanding.

He shrugged and gave a slight nod in agreement. Olivia smiled. This was something she could work to repair.

"You're smiling?" He said. He was teasing her, but there was a bit of truth in his question. She'd clearly reached an understanding that he wasn't privy to just yet.

"Rafael Barba," she said. "You're one of my closest confidants. You're like blood. We fight. We disagree. We somehow manage to stick it out."

He eyed her skeptically. Neither had confided in the other in quite some time. Ed Tucker was case in point. She could almost see the thought bubbles forming above his head.

"I hadn't told _anyone_ about Tucker," she defended. "It's so complicated because of our history. I needed to make sure he and I are on the same page about our past before I deal with all the questions."

He did understand. She was a private person under the best of circumstances, but here she was dating a guy who'd been her squad's nemesis for over a decade. Hers, too, if the stories he'd heard were accurate.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. She sensed that he still wasn't sure they could mend.

"We're here, aren't we?" She asked.

He gave her a slight tilt of the head. Not even a full nod.

"Barba," she said with a tone of exasperation and once again reached across the table. This time he didn't rebuff her. He took her hand and gave it a small squeeze before setting it back on the table. She immediately reached for his arm and held it tight, not letting him retreat again.

"I've missed you," he said before she could continue. He looked her in the eye, and she saw that he understood. She'd made her point.

"I've missed you, too."

They wrapped up their brunch with him asking a few awkward questions about Tucker. Then they ended up laughing their way through a fight to pick up the tab and who got the first taxi.

Barba gave her a quick nod when they saw a taxi approaching. "I'm happy for you, Liv. It seems that you have a good thing going with Tucker."

"Thank you for that," she said and squeezed his arm. "And thank you for showing up and not giving up on us."

"Like I once said," he began with a smile. "I imagine we'll still be squabbling at 85."

She smiled at the memory as she dropped into the cab. Just before shutting the door he added, "Of course when you're 85, I'll just be…"

Olivia laughed fully then and pulled the taxi door closed before he could finish. She leaned back into the seat, happy that one of her relationships seemed to be heading in the right direction. Now she just had to smooth things over with Ed.

SVUSVUSVU

Olivia got home to a quiet apartment. Normally, she'd take Noah to the park or something to get them all outside. It was still drizzling, so she knew Ed wouldn't have taken him there. She checked her phone and found no missed messages or texts.

She dropped her purse on the table just inside the door and pulled off her raincoat. She poked her head in the kitchen. It was spotless except for a mixing bowl soaking in the sink and Noah's highchair which looked like a bottle of maple syrup had exploded all over it. The only evidence of the pancake breakfast she missed.

Olivia glanced around the living room and saw that Noah's toys were carefully put away. She tapped Ed's name on her phone to send him a text. Just then she heard Noah's laughter coming from down the hall.

She stepped quietly, curious to hear what had her son so wound up. His room was dark, so headed to her bedroom. It was then she heard the splashing sounds of bath time. She smiled when she saw the syrup stained clothes on the floor as she entered the bathroom.

She laughed out loud when she saw the situation before her. Noah still had syrup in his hair and was splashing his arms, getting water everywhere. Ed's t-shirt was soaked.

Hearing her laughter, Ed and Noah both looked up.

"Hi, mommy!" Noah shouted brightly.

"Hi, sweet boy," she cooed back at him. "Did you actually eat pancakes or just have a syrup battle?"

"Tuck make me cakes!" Noah said. "With sur-up." She could tell by his careful pronunciation that Ed had drilled the point home. She always liked the cute little baby talk Noah came up with, but Ed was always encouraging Noah to expand his vocabulary with 'actual English words' as he put it.

"I see that," she answered.

"I don't know how you get through dinner and bath time every night without needing to change your clothes three times," Ed said with a hint of exasperation, but mostly humor. It was then she noticed that Ed wasn't wearing the shirt he'd been in when she left them.

"I don't always," she said. "But I suspect someone knew they had a rookie on his hands."

He frowned at her teasing before giving her a small smile. "Wanna give me a hand?" He motioned to Noah's hair. He'd successfully gotten the gooeyness off of Noah's hands, arms and neck, but he wasn't sure how to get his hair clean without dunking the kid. That didn't seem plausible.

"Move over, dad," she joked. Then she caught what she'd said, and faltered for a second. She hadn't meant it that way at all. Crap. She decided to ignore it and busied herself with washing Noah's hair.

If he caught it, Ed didn't say anything. He just moved back to kneel at the end of the tub. She gave Noah one of his little boats and told him she was going to wash his hair. To Ed's amazement, Noah quit splashing around and calmly drove the boat around.

He watched her as she used a small cup to wet Noah's hair. It took a couple rounds of scrubbing and rinsing to get all the syrup out of his hair. Noah seemed hardly bothered by her and went about playing with his boat.

"Okay, how'd you get him to sit still like that." Ed asked.

"We have a deal. Don't we Noah?" She said with a smile as she ran her fingers through her sons wet hair causing it to stand straight up.

"I be still. I get extra story." Noah explained very seriously.

"Ah, bribery." Ed said with a laugh. "I tried that. Guess I just didn't suggest the right payment."

Olivia looked at him. They shared a brief moment. She knew they still needed to talk about Barba, but the tension from this morning had dissipated a little.

He gave her a quick nod before standing up. "I'm going to get yet another shirt." He motioned to his soaked shirt. He'd only stayed over a few times recently, but it had been enough that he had some clothes at her place.

"I see how it is. You two make the mess, and I'm left with clean up." She said as she reached into the warm water and pulled the plug.

She heard Ed mumble something but couldn't make out what it was. She grabbed a towel and wrapped Noah up before heading to his room to get a fresh set of clothes.

A few minutes later, Ed was sitting on the couch in his third shirt of the day. He heard the patter of little feet running down the hallway and looked up just in time to see Noah launch himself toward the couch.

Ed threw his arm out and scooped up the boy. He lifted him high above his head, then leaned over to let them crash down on the couch cushion.

"Again," Noah squealed with delight.

"Again?" Ed mocked before tickling Noah's tummy.

"Mommy! Help!"

Olivia laughed. "I think this is payback, little man." She sat on the other end of the couch near Noah's head. He scrambled trying to reach her and get away from the tickle monster.

Ed eased up just enough the toddler could win the battle. Noah crawled onto Olivia's lap and was out of breath from laughter.

"Did Ed get you?" She said with a smile. Ed wiggled his fingers at Noah who tried to wedge himself between his mother and the arm of the couch.

Ed wasn't deterred. He just stretched over the couch letting his arms rest on Olivia's lap as he reached for Noah.

Noah yelped and tried to climb onto the back of the couch. Olivia held onto his thigh so he wouldn't fall. Ed scooted closer, letting the side of his chest rest on her as he propped his arm on the couch.

Olivia's breath caught in her throat. This position put them face to face. For a moment it seemed like their earlier disagreement had never happened. He dropped his head to rest on his arm, caging her in. She was still holding onto a wiggly Noah with one arm.

She tried to reach her other arm around to make sure that Noah wasn't going over the back of the couch, but she couldn't reach. Ed saw her concern and pushed himself up.

"Come on down, Noah." Ed said, reaching for the kid's hand. Realizing the game was over, Noah took Ed's hand and climbed back into the corner of the couch. Now all three of their faces were close. Noah patted each of their cheeks, then he wormed his way out of their reach and went to dig through his toy box.

It was only an hour or so before Noah's afternoon nap time. Olivia desperately wanted to keep things light and distracted until then. She figured Ed would be expecting a report once they were alone.

The trio spent the next hour playing with Noah's blocks. It was mostly Ed and Olivia building towers and Noah ramming his dump truck into them to knock them down, but it passed the afternoon.

It was almost 2pm by the time Olivia got Noah down for his nap. She quietly closed his door and headed back to the living room. She was surprised to find it empty. She craned her neck as she walked toward the kitchen. He was there, finishing clean up from brunch.

"It's okay, I can get it." She called to him as she moved to take the highchair tray from him.

He pulled it back. "I let him make the mess, the least I can do is clean it up."

She held up her hands in surrender and left him to the task. Instead, she went to the sink and began to rinse out the dishes she found there before placing them in the dishwasher.

They completed their tasks in silence. She dried her hands and tossed the towel at him, so he could do the same.

Ed hung the towel on the drawer handle in front of the sink and reached to open the corner cabinet. Olivia just watched him. He didn't seem as agitated as he was when she'd left earlier, but she could tell he was still upset.

He pulled down two rocks glasses and a bottle of his favorite bourbon. She gave him a curious look. It was at his prompting they'd cut back on day drinking.

He shrugged and poured them each a small portion. Then he put the bottle away and handed her one of the glasses.

"Just figured we could use a little fortification," he explained. She took the glass from him and followed as he headed back to the living room.

They settled on opposite ends of the couch. He immediately leaned forward resting his forearms on his knees, holding his drink with both hands. She, on the other hand, turned sideways. Her back rested against the arm of the couch so she could face him.

"How'd it go with Barba?" Ed asked. He just wanted to get this started, so they could get back to normal. He'd been uneasy all night and day.

"I think we worked things out," she answered. "We at least have a start."

"That's good." His voice was tight. She knew he was just being supportive, which she appreciated. She couldn't remember the last time a man put his feelings aside just to support her. But she didn't want him to let this fester. She still thought there was something he wasn't telling her.

"It is," she answered. She moved closer to him. "Ed, can you tell me what that was this morning?"

"I told you," he said. "The guy almost cost you your command."

"Any ADA would have done the same thing," she responded defensively.

"You're defending him."

She didn't have an answer for that. Barba was her friend, and Ed was being unreasonable.

"And ditching me," Ed continued.

"Ditching you?" She said, her irritation evident. "I asked if you would stay with Noah. You agreed!"

"You know what I mean," he said.

"No, Ed," Olivia said. "I don't. I really don't. You refuse to forgive Barba, and it wasn't even you that he hurt."

"If that's what you think. I don't know how to begin to explain this to you." Ed bit off.

She gave him a questioning look.

"You could have lost your command, your job, your pension." Ed explained.

"I didn't," she answered, still not sure.

"You almost did, because of Barba."

"No," she insisted. "You were innocent. And according to Carisi and Dodds, Barba was quick to believe you'd been framed."

"So he didn't hold it against me," Ed said dryly.

"Hold what against you?"

"You."

"Ed, it's not like that," Olivia said somewhat unconvincingly.

He gave her a smirk that said he didn't believe her.

"It's not," she insisted.

"He was jealous," Ed said. He didn't really think that was true, but he said it anyway.

She didn't answer. That was enough for him. Ed popped up from the couch. He knew Barba was upset, but jealous.

"Not because of that," she quickly added. "He's been a good friend to me, and this year hasn't exactly been easy on our friendship. Me withholding the truth our relationship only made things worse."

"Still, he took it out on you."

Olivia sighed and stood. She moved to the opposite side of the room from Ed. "Yeah, he did. I hurt him, and he lashed out."

He turned to look at her. He was shaking his head as if she'd just proven his point.

"I forgave him," she said, the exasperation evident in her voice as she plopped back down on the couch. She felt like they were talking in circles.

"Just like that," he accused.

"Really, Ed? Really?" She said, matching his tone. "You, of all people, are going to question my ability to forgive. To let the past go? That's rich."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: SOOO sorry it took me soooo long to update, but I had a lot of work stuff going on. Hope you like...

* * *

" _Really, Ed? Really?" She said, matching his tone. "You, of all people, are going to question my ability to forgive. To let the past go? That's rich."_

He blanched. It wasn't just what she'd said. It was the tone of her voice, raw and full of emotion that went beyond her words. He really hadn't thought of it from her perspective. He hadn't thought at all. He was angry and he lashed out at the one person who least deserved it.

All he'd thought was that the best relationship he'd ever had was threatened because of Barba's actions. He knew it wasn't _only_ Barba, but she seemed content to just forget the role he played in their careers' near demise.

Ed and Olivia had talked about how their relationship would impact her squad, her relationships, how they'd deal with their past. While she hadn't let him off easy, she had let it go. Once they'd discussed it, she never once threw their past in his face. Until now.

His shoulders were slumped, and he hadn't moved. He kept hearing her words, "You, of all people…" Him. The one who was supposed to be safe. The one who promised he'd be safe.

Olivia watched as he braced himself against the wall. She was so angry, but it seemed her words carried significantly more impact than she'd intended. She was just trying to jar him into paying attention to the bottom line.

Before she could figure out what to do, he let his now empty bourbon glass fall to the floor. It was as though he suddenly lost the will and ability to keep it in his grasp. The tumbler landed on the rug with a soft thud.

Ed didn't even bother to retrieve it. Instead, he dropped his head and made a quiet noise that could only be described as a strangled attempt at speech.

Olivia gasped at the sight before her. She'd never seen Ed Tucker lose control like this. She'd seen him angry. Hell, she'd recently restrained him from beating his cousin Eugene to a pulp. But she hadn't seen this. She'd never been the cause, at least not to her knowledge.

"Ed?" She said quietly.

He straightened but didn't answer.

Shit. She'd just been trying to make a point. She didn't mean to hurt him. Apparently, she'd misjudged in epic fashion.

His whole body was numb. The few times they'd discussed their rocky past, he really thought she'd forgiven him. He thought she understood. He'd just been doing his job back then. He may have been a little more assertive than necessary sometimes, but at the end of the day, he followed protocol. He obeyed the rules.

Ed shook his head at his own thoughts. That was exactly what she'd said about Barba.

Olivia watched him, unsure how to proceed. She could see the tension in his shoulders and neck and wasn't sure if she should go to him or let him calm down. Unfortunately, the decision was made for her when Noah's cry came from the other room.

"I've got to go get him," she said softly.

Still no response or movement from Ed. Noah called out to her again, so she quickly turned and went to his room. She loved her son, but this was the absolute worse timing ever. There was no way they could continue this conversation in front of him. They also couldn't leave things as they were.

Left to his own thoughts, Ed kept running the words of their argument out of his head. Barba had just been doing his job. Dammit. He knew she was right. If she could forgive one of the most hated IAB officers in New York. Not just forgive, but grow to care about him, welcome him into her life, her son's life. Then of course she could and would forgive the ADA.

He turned around and could hear her voice quietly soothing Noah. It sounded like she'd taken him to her bedroom. He heard the television come to life and desperately hoped Noah would go for the distraction.

She appeared in the hallway and looked at him tentatively. Her eyes met his. His expression was pained, but she also saw resolve.

"Liv," he croaked.

"I just need to get him some juice, and I think he'll watch Cars for a little while." The look in his eyes was too much, so she looked away and headed down the hall. She reached out and squeezed his forearm as she walked past him in an effort to make some contact.

He wanted to grab her hand. Instead he watched her walk away to get her son something to drink. He determined then and there that he was going to fix this.

Olivia was quick to fill a sippy cup with juice and deliver it to Noah. Moments later, she returned and stood before him in the living room. She left some distance because she didn't know what his reaction would be.

"I'm sorry," he said and started to move slowly in her direction.

"I'm sorry, too." She added quickly. "I shouldn't have thrown that in your face."

"Yeah, you should have," Ed said. "You were right. Once we talked about it, you never brought it up again."

She just shrugged her acknowledgement. She hadn't until today. She had made a concerted effort to let go of their past, but this argument just seemed to dredge it all up again.

"I'm the one who's held onto it," he admitted. "I was worried that some day our past would rear its ugly head."

"I guess I proved you right," Olivia whispered.

"No, not like that. I deserved what you said," Ed answered sincerely.

"Ed," she began.

"Let me finish," He said with a hint of pleading in his voice. "I liked what we've had the last few weeks."

She looked at him with a question in her eyes. Few weeks? They'd been together for months.

"I've liked what we've had for months," he quickly assured. "But the last few weeks. Horrible as it was to be suspended and reassigned, I was happy that instead of driving us apart, this crisis drew us together."

She didn't know what to say to that, so she simply nodded in agreement.

"Before we found out about your transfer, and I told you not to go out on a limb for me…" He paused. "I thought you might take the out I was giving you."

"Ed," she said. Now she was feeling a bit hurt. Surely he knew her better than that.

"Olivia," he said, stopping her from saying anything more. "I know how much it crushed you to pack up your desk at SVU, and I honestly have no idea how you endured your reassignment."

"I don't either," she said with a huff. "But you couldn't possibly have thought I would choose my job over you?"

"I wouldn't have blamed you if you did," he answered.

By now, they'd move so they were both sitting on the couch again. He chanced a glance at her and saw unshed tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." Now that she'd resolved things with Barba and had that worry off her mind, she could see that Ed's anger at Barba was probably more driven by his previous fear of losing her than any true anger toward the ADA.

"Like I said, I deserved it," he started.

She started to protest, but he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"You didn't say anything that wasn't true," he continued. "We went round after round back in the day. And somehow, you managed to forgive and forget. It's only fair that I should do the same for Barba."

She sighed. At least he'd come around to that. But something still wasn't right. What was the problem with the men in her life today?

"Mommy?" Noah called as he ran into the room. "I hungry."

She checked the clock on the DVR. It was almost 4pm. This new Sunday Brunch habit had thrown off their meal schedule, but she liked the fact that it was _their_ thing.

"How about some fishy crackers?" She asked, hoping that his favorite snack, Goldfish, would tide him over for at least an hour. She gave Ed a look of apology, but he just waved her on.

She filled a spill-proof cup with crunchy Goldfish and sat Noah at his play table with some crayons and paper. Then she motioned for Ed to join her in the kitchen. From there they could keep an eye on him, but their conversation wouldn't intrude on Noah's play time.

She leaned against the kitchen counter while he took a seat at the table. Things weren't quite as tense as before. They'd seemingly resolved the major issue of her forgiving Barba.

But it still bothered him. He wasn't sure why he couldn't shake the feeling, but he was determined to fix it.

"I know it sucked when we were both off duty or whatever," Ed said. "But I'm not going to pretend that I didn't like having some extra time with you and Noah."

"Me too," she said honestly, still not understanding his explanation.

He took a deep breath and forced the exhale. He hated being vulnerable under any circumstance. It was even more frustrating when his heart was so deeply invested as it was with Olivia and Noah.

"Sunday brunch," Ed said. Then he stood quickly and turned away from her.

Olivia had no idea what he was getting at. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why her having brunch with Barba would upset him so much. Not knowing what else to do, she pushed herself off the counter and went to him.

Ed countered her move and walked to the other side of the kitchen bracing himself against the sink. She didn't relent. Olivia followed his path until she stood directly behind him. She wouldn't let him retreat again.

She could almost feel the tension radiating off of his body, and she wasn't even touching him. Olivia's hesitance turned to determination. She still didn't know why brunch was such a big deal, but she was going to ease his doubt. Whatever it took.

He let her wrap her arms around his waist and rest her chin on his shoulder. He even placed his arms over hers. He just wanted to rest in her comfort for a brief moment before he said anything more.

Olivia tensed when he lifted her arms and started to shift. He pulled her grip away just enough that he could turn to face her. He didn't know what to do with her hands at that point, so he just let them go.

She let her hands fall to the waistband of his pants, resting more on the fabric than on him. She was relieved he didn't object to the basic contact. The look in his eyes was still one of uncertainty, and she hated being even partially responsible for that.

"Sunday brunch," Ed repeated and let his eyes fall to her somewhere around her shoulders. "We've had brunch, just you, me and Noah, for the past five weekends in a row. Until today."

"Today," she echoed. She was beginning to understand. "But," she started to question.

"I know it's not rational to expect that we'll always have that," Ed said before she could say anything more.

"Our jobs," she added as further explanation. He just nodded, still not meeting her eyes.

"I know it's not rational to still be mad at Barba," he continued. "But I just got you."

He stopped. He didn't mean for it to come out that way. He didn't "get her" or "own her". For fuck's sake. How was he ever going to explain this?

"Ed." She silenced him with a finger to his lips. He forced a breathe out through his nose and collected himself.

He pressed a kiss to her fingertip before pulling her hand from his mouth. "It was our thing."

She took a minute to follow his train of thought. "Brunch?"

"Yeah," he answered. "I know. It's not a big deal to you and Noah, but I liked that it was something _we_ did, just the three of us."

Olivia smiled a little. She liked it too. She just hadn't realized it was such a big deal to Ed.

He saw her smile and assumed it was a laugh at his expense. Of course she didn't care about a stupid brunch. His face flushed with embarrassment, and he just wanted to get away from her, from this room, from this conversation.

She noticed when he squared his shoulders and started to withdraw. What had gone wrong? She thought they were finally starting to communicate.

"If that's what you think?" She began. "That it's not a big deal?"

The break in her voice stopped his movement. He turned to look at her and was shocked to find tears in her eyes. Dammit. He couldn't do anything right, today.

She moved toward him. "You." She said and punctuated it with a finger to his chest.

"You, you asshole, are more than just a big deal." She continued poking her finger into his breastbone.

He didn't know how to respond. He was getting the answer he wanted. She appeared to be as invested as he felt, but she was pissed. She seemed to sense his trepidation, and suddenly softened her attack.

"Ed," she sighed. "Noah and I both love our weekends with you. Obviously my son cares more about his Sunday 'cakes' than whether or not I'm even there to witness it."

"Liv."

"I didn't realize," she said before he could continue. "I didn't realized it meant so much to you."

"I'm being ridiculous," Ed said and dropped his head. It was obvious by the way she was persisting that she cared about him and their future. He'd let his anger and jealousy get the best of him.

"It's not ridiculous if it upset you." Olivia countered. "If you'd told me how import… how much it mattered to you, I would picked a different time to meet with Barba."

"I know," he said. He was embarrassed by his overreaction to a simple meal. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize for being upset." She tried to temper her own emotions. "Next time, just tell me what's up."

"I think I can do that," he answered with a slight smile.

She stepped toward him and placed a kiss on the side of his mouth. "I have the utmost confidence in you, Captain Tucker."

He reached up, pulled her face into his and kissed her full on the lips. She smiled against his mouth and leaned into him. They broke the kiss and he rested his forehead against hers

"We're okay?" Ed asked with just a hint of need of reassurance.

"Hmm," she answered. "Of course we are."

He pushed her back slightly, so he could look in her eyes.

"Ed, we are fine." Olivia assured. "After everything else, this is…" she shrugged the completion of that thought. He just smiled at her.

"Mommy!" Noah called. He wasn't crying, but the distress was evident in his voice.

Ed and Olivia rushed from the kitchen to the adjoining living area to find Noah face first in his toy box, legs dangling out the top.

"Noah," Olivia said with both amusement and concern as she ran over to help him.

"I stuck." Noah said kicking his legs trying to get himself out of the box.

Ed laughed to himself as he watched Olivia pull the toddler from the toy box. He laughed harder when he saw Noah raise a toy train over his head in triumph. He may have required assistance, but he got what he'd been after.

"Are you about ready for dinner, sweet boy?" Olivia asked her son as she turned him upright and snuggled him close. Noah wiggled to be put down, but he did nod that he was hungry.

Olivia let Noah down and looked to Ed. "What sounds good?"

He looked at her, puzzled. He usually left after Noah went down for his nap on Sunday afternoon. Obviously things were thrown off today, but he hadn't expected to stay for dinner.

"Oh, you don't have to stay," Olivia said. She knew he was a creature of habit, and he'd already made significant changes to accommodate her and Noah.

Then, today had thrown a whole new wrench into his routine. Maybe asking him to change yet another thing was too much, too soon. He usually went home Sunday afternoons. She assumed it was to reset after a weekend with her and a toddler.

Ed looked at her with uncertainty. When he'd first started spending nights with her, he left before Noah woke up. Gradually, they'd eased into periodic mornings with all of them. But the past few weekends were the most extended times they'd been together.

It had been great spending so much time with her, but Ed tried to respect Noah's routine and the mommy/son time he knew Olivia craved. So after his own favorite Sunday brunch, he usually left her to have an evening alone with her son to prepare for a new week.

"I want ba-sketti, Mommy," Noah said interrupting the adult silence.

"Ba-sketti it is, my sweet." Olivia answered and headed toward the kitchen to start making Noah's favorite dish of the month.

Ed was still standing in between the two rooms. He wasn't sure if she wanted him to stay or go.

"Can you grab some bread and get it in the oven?" She asked over her shoulder as she put some water on to boil.

"Ahh, sure," he said. He was slow to act, so she stopped her movement and looked up at him.

This man and his since of routine. She laughed to herself but tried not to let her amusement show outwardly.

"Ed," she said softly as she sat a package of spaghetti on the counter. "I don't want you to go home."

He started to say something, but stopped himself. He didn't want to go home.

"I just want you to stay," she continued.

"Me, too," Ed said.

They didn't say anything more, but started to move around the kitchen making spaghetti, garlic bread and salad. Occasionally, they'd make eye contact or reach for the same spoon to stir the sauce, and they both felt it. Somehow, through the process of starting a _new_ , new routine, they managed to find the answer.

* * *

a/n part 2: I planned for this to be the end, unless there's something specific you wanna see...


	3. Chapter 3

A/N I wasn't sure what this story was going to be, a one-shot, two-shot, something more..., but now here we are at chapter 3 with more to come. Hope you like the ride!

* * *

 _When we last left our fearless duo, they'd made up and were making Sunday night ba-sketti for Noah. Let's fast-forward to Monday morning..._

"Morning, Lieu," Carisi called as Olivia breezed through the squad room coffee in hand.

"Hey, Carisi," she answered as she looked around. "Where is everybody?"

"Fin and Dodds had to testify in that DV case," he reminder her. Then he looked at Rollin's empty desk. "Amanda's here, somewhere."

"Anything else going on?" She said.

"Not yet," he answered.

She nodded and continued to her office. To her chagrin, he followed.

"Lieutenant," he began. "We were talking this morning, and we still want to take you out for a drink to celebrate you being reinstated."

She didn't need a celebratory night out, but it would be nice to have her squad together outside the precinct. They needed a chance to recoup, together. She nodded.

"Does this Friday work for you? Maybe Captain Tucker can join us, since he has something to celebrate, too."

She smiled at his inclusion of Ed. She could see through him, though. She knew certain members of her crew were dying to ask about her and Tucker. Carisi, especially.

They'd planned a happy hour for Liv a couple weeks ago, her first week back, but a serial rapist had kept them all too busy. In a way this was even better, it would give her team the chance to see her and Tucker together in a more casual setting. To get used to them.

"I think Friday works for me," Olivia said. "But let me double check with Lucy, and I'll ask Tucker."

"Great!" Carisi said and lingered a minute before leaving her alone to get situated.

Olivia settled into her morning and sent a quick text to Ed about Friday. He replied almost immediately in the affirmative. She shook her head a little, this would be an interesting outing for all of them.

The peace of the morning didn't last long. Before Fin and Dodds got out of court, SVU caught a case. Carisi and Rollins headed to the scene, and Olivia headed to the hospital to meet their 14-year old victim and her parents.

It was after 1:00pm when Olivia finally got back to the office. Carisi and Rollins were trying to track down kids who attended the party where the girl had been assaulted. Dodds and Fin finished up at the courthouse and came back to interrogate the suspect, who'd been arrested an hour earlier.

After getting a quick update from Rollins, Olivia headed to her office and pushed the door almost closed. She took a few minutes to try and shake the victim's words from her mind. It had broken her heart to take the girl's statement. She was just a kid.

Olivia hung her head and sighed. She wanted to call Ed, but she knew she wouldn't. She was a little unsettled by her need to hear his voice. She knew it would soothe her, and that was still a new idea. She didn't know how to let herself need someone like this.

 _Not yet._ That thought surprised her, so she just put it out of her mind and tried to focus on the case at hand. She wasn't quite ready to admit she _needed_ another person.

* * *

Ed sat at his desk and thought about the weekend. He was still frustrated with himself for overreacting about Olivia wanting to patch things up with Barba and the whole Sunday Brunch thing. In all honesty, he was embarrassed. He was Ed Tucker, unflappable, hard as nails, Captain Ed Tucker.

He hadn't felt this way about anyone, ever. He didn't know how to navigate it. All he knew was that he didn't want to screw it up. Olivia was his everything.

Things had been normal when they left her apartment this morning, but he still wanted to do something to show her how much she meant to him. He thought about sending flowers to her office, but that seemed over the top and definitely not them. He thought about just calling her to check in, but that didn't seem like enough.

Ed laughed at himself as he tried to figure out how to do something that would show Olivia how much he cared without being too over the top. He felt like a teenager again, trying to impress the head cheerleader. But he smiled to himself when he realized what to do. _Keep it simple, stupid._

He picked up the phone to call his lunch appointment and move the location. He needed to get a little closer to the 16th to carry out his plan.

Across town, Barba sat in his office and also pondered his weekend. He was relieved that he and Olivia had gotten to some sort of peace. He knew it would still take some time before they fell back into their comfortable pattern, but for the first time in weeks he felt like they were on the right path.

Still he wanted to see her, just to touch base. He had a strange need to put their personal reconnection to the test in their professional environment. He needed to see it work. He really had no excuse to go to SVU today, but he would find one.

Barba was startled from his thoughts by a knock at his door. "Come in," he called.

Dodds appeared. "Your assistant said it was okay to just knock."

"Of course," Barba answered and looked up to find Fin trailing Dodds. "You both testified in the Walker case this morning?" He wasn't assigned to that case because he'd been on vacation when they caught it, but he was well aware of the details.

It quickly became clear that this was just a courtesy call. Dodds and Barba made small talk while Fin waited impatiently. Fin knew that the other two men were into the political game, but he just wanted to do his damn job. If it weren't for the fact that he and Dodds rode together, he'd have ditched this little pow wow already.

Barba accurately sensed that Dodds was feeling him out since the whole Olivia transfer debacle. Mike Dodds wasn't his father, but he still had ambition, and Barba wasn't quite sure he trusted him.

"When I met with her yesterday, she said everything was going smoothly," Barba informed, intentionally letting it _slip_ that he'd met with Olivia off the clock.

Dodds didn't give an outward reaction, but he got the message. "Good to know."

"We should get back," Fin interrupted the awkward conversation. "Liv texted while we were in court, we caught a new case. She needs us to interrogate the suspect."

Dodds and Barba shook hands. Fin just gave Barba a nod. He was still a little annoyed at the way the ADA had handled things for Liv.

All in all, Fin was probably more shocked than anyone when it came out about Liv and Tucker, but he was never one to judge or pry. He knew her. He trusted her. He might not understand, but he didn't' have to.

Fin had sensed the tension between her and Barba immediately. He sided with his boss, his friend, without question. So until he knew that Liv was okay with Barba, he wouldn't be.

Barba sighed as the two men left his office. He wasn't fooled. He knew that Dodds understood the politics of the situation, and would let it go. He also knew that Fin was fiercely protective of Olivia and would take some time to forgive. He hoped that Olivia accepting him back into the fold would ease the rest of her squad into forgiving him.

It was with that thought in mind that he devised a plan.

* * *

Ed walked into the 16th precinct with a casual gait. He decided to stop by after his late lunch with his one of his old partners.

"Captain?" Rollins asked when she saw him. She'd just walked in a few minutes earlier and was still standing at her desk putting things away.

"Hey, Rollins," he said. "Is the Lieutenant in her office?"

Amanda nodded and smiled at his formality, but she also noticed the iced coffee in his hand. They'd all been a bit taken aback to learn that their commander was dating IAB Tucker, but no one pressed her on it. Amanda had made a special effort to tell Carisi to leave it alone.

Ed knocked on the barely open door to get Olivia's attention. He stood at the doorway keeping the coffee out of her line of sight.

"Ed," she said with bit of question and a bit of relief. She;d so desperately wanted to talk to him, seeing him was She checked her watch and was even more confused, it was 1:45. "What are you doing here?"

"Thought you could use this," he answered as he stepped fully into her office and revealed the caffeinated treat.

She gave him a look as he pushed the door almost closed again and crossed the room to hand her the drink. When she took a sip and realized it was her favorite, iced hazelnut, light and sweet, she gave him another look.

How'd he know that? Iced coffee wasn't her norm, and she couldn't remember if she'd ever ordered it when he was around. Obviously she must have, but it couldn't have been more than once or twice, ever.

"I pay attention," was his only answer.

"Thank you," she said before taking another sip. "This is exactly what I needed."

He gave her a shy smile. "My pleasure."

"Really, Ed," she said. "What's this about?" Since their earlier texts about weekend plans, they hadn't talked. He couldn't have known about her morning or how desperately she needed a pick-me-up this afternoon.

"I was thinking about you, and I wanted you to know." He answered simply.

She gave him a broad smile and stepped closer to him. "Thank you," she whispered as she placed her free hand on his cheek and gave him a quick kiss.

Her office door was still slightly ajar, so Olivia took a step back before Ed could respond. She was not comfortable with the idea of one of her detectives walking in on a make out session.

He studied her for a minute. All morning, he'd thought about their weekend. He thought about how he'd almost let his own insecurities come between them. He thought about how much he wanted this relationship to work, and not just work, but last. He decided he was going to make sure she knew that he was committed to her and Noah 110%.

"Hey," she said as she nudged his shoulder slightly with her own. "What are you thinking about?"

"How much you mean to me," he said.

Olivia was floored by his openness. Not that he hadn't been open with her, but he usually required a little more coaxing or foreplay to be this open with his feelings.

"What is all this about?" She asked without accusation, just curiosity.

"Like I said, I was thinking about you, and I wanted you to know." He didn't know how else to explain it to her. That was it. "And I wanted to see you."

She sat the coffee on her desk and moved back toward him. Again, she glanced at her almost closed office door before deciding it was safe.

Ed was surprised when Olivia reached for him and once again kissed him full on the mouth. She'd been very clear that she didn't want to cross that line in front of her squad, but he wasn't about to complain. He pressed his lips a little more firmly to hers and let his hands rest on her hips.

Little did they know that on the other side of the door, Carisi was chatting with the ADA. Barba stopped by to say hi to Olivia under the pretense of dropping off some files. He knew it would take him a while to get used to her being with Tucker and to get over the way he'd found out about it. But she was one of his closest friends and seemed to want to stay that way, so he was determined to work through it.

"So, Friday night?" Carisi asked again.

"Yeah, sure," Barba answered. Sometimes the detective's enthusiasm was a bit excessive, but Barba knew Carisi meant well.

He wasn't sure exactly what he was agreeing to because he'd only be half paying attention. Something about drinks to celebrate Olivia's reinstatement. Seemed like a good opportunity to continue the mending.

"Great," Carisi said. "That's great."

"Liv's in her office?" Barba asked, getting back to his original intent. He held the coffee in his hand, knowing from his earlier conversation with Dodds and Fin that she'd need the caffeine boost.

"Yeah," Carisi answered. "But…" Before he could warn Barba that she was with _someone_ , Barba had lightly knocked on the door and started pushing it open.

"Hey, Liv, I just stopped by to…" Barba froze in his tracks at the sight before him.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry for the delay, but better late than never, right?

" _Liv's in her office?" Barba asked, getting back to his original intent. He held the coffee in his hand, knowing from his earlier conversation with Dodds and Fin that she'd need the caffeine boost._

" _Yeah," Carisi answered. "But…" Before he could warn Barba that she was with someone, Barba had lightly knocked on the door and started pushing it open._

" _Hey, Liv, I just stopped by to…" Barba froze in his tracks at the sight before him._

Ed had slipped his hands around to Liv's lower back and pulled her body into his. Olivia slid her arms underneath his jacket and ran her hands up his back on top of his shirt.

The kiss was innocent enough, but she found the comfort of it almost startling. Just as she'd thought earlier, hearing his voice had calmed her. Feeling his reassuring presence was soothing in a way that she didn't quite understand. She hummed against his lips as he deepened the kiss.

Neither of them heard Barba's knock, but they both heard him stop short with his introduction and swear under his breath. Olivia practically flew backwards as she and Ed broke their embrace.

He grabbed her arm to keep her from falling over her chair and just looked at her with curiosity and amusement. She was acting like they'd been caught having sex on her desk or something.

"Barba," she said quickly. "What are you doing here?" She smoothed her shirt. Olivia knew she was overreacting, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd been _caught_.

"I uh," he stumbled over his words. "I was uh… I just stopped by to bring you some files." He said as he slightly lifted his briefcase. Had he heard her moan? Barba didn't think he'd ever be able to shake this moment from his memory.

"Oh okay," she said and forced a smile. "Come on in."

"Captain." Barba greeted Tucker curtly, and tried to act somewhat normal.

"Barba." Ed said with a slight nod. The tension was out of proportion to the situation, and he didn't know what to do. This was absurd.

Barba turned back to Liv and lifted the coffee. "I also brought you this." He saw her look down at the iced version on her desk. "But I see you've already got some."

"Yeah, Ed brought it." She answered with a quick glance toward Tucker. "Thanks anyway."

Determined not to act as weird as Liv and Barba were making this, Ed stepped toward her and ran his hand down her back. He was about to lean in for an innocent side hug when she tensed. He looked at her for an explanation but her expression was stoic. Her reaction annoyed him, but he wasn't going to show that in front of Barba.

Instead Ed just smiled at them both and told Olivia he'd text her later about dinner. She nodded even though she didn't remember them making plans for dinner tonight. Ed left her office door open and gave Carisi a hard look as he headed across the room toward the hallway.

Carisi followed Tucker into the hall. "I'm so sorry Captain, I tried to warn him, but…"

Tucker held up a hand. "It's fine, Detective."

Ed said nothing more. He just got on the elevator and left. What exactly did Carisi think Barba walked in on? If he wasn't so frustrated by having his attempt at a simple romantic gesture interrupted, he would find this whole thing funny.

He decided to walk part of the way back to his office. The crisp air would hopefully help him clear his mind and figure out what to do. He pulled his cigarettes and lighter from his pocket and lit one for the walk.

Liv's reaction also bothered him. He didn't want to feel insecure. They'd already survived a stress test that could have derailed them, so this thing with Barba shouldn't upset him so much. It did anyway.

He puffed his cigarette and made a mental note to change his shirt and jacket before dinner. He told Olivia he was trying to quit, and he was. He'd cut back significantly, but it was a stress response, and this was his biggest source of stress at the moment.

Ed's comment to Olivia about dinner had been more for the ADA's benefit, but she'd agreed. So now he also needed to figure that out. He decided to text her when he got back to IAB and see what she wanted to do.

Back in Liv's office, she and Barba were still recovering. He went about pulling files from his briefcase and handing them to her one at a time. Stalling.

She sat down at her desk and tried to act normal. Whatever that meant at this point.

"What are these?" She asked as she started flipping through the folders. They appeared to be old case files. One was from a case they'd closed over a year ago.

"Found them this morning and thought I should return them." He answered. His plan to test the waters of their reconciliation was completely ruined, so he didn't even try to sound convincing.

"Barba." She said with a tone that told him she saw right through him.

He looked up to find her watching him. There was still a hint of embarrassment in her expression, but he also saw Olivia, his friend, wondering what the hell he was really doing here.

"I just wanted to stop by and make sure that we're okay. That this wasn't going to be a problem once we were back at work." He said with a bitter laugh. "Guess it didn't go exactly how I'd planned."

She laughed out loud at that. "That's an understatement." She felt silly for her earlier reaction, and she still had no idea what precipitated it. "We're fine. You don't need a pretense to drop in, especially if you come bearing gifts." She nodded toward the now lukewarm coffee he'd brought.

"Yeah, well, someone beat me to it." He answered with a hint of annoyance.

"It doesn't mean I appreciate it any less," she said trying not to sound frustrated. She thought they'd gotten to a good place, but he was acting strange. If they hadn't hashed it out yesterday, she'd think he was actually jealous.

"I'll get used to it," he said. This was on him. She wasn't doing anything wrong from a professional standpoint or in terms of their friendship. He was the one with a problem, so he'd be the one to suck it up.

"Okay," she said. She'd give him some time and space to figure it out. "Since you're here, let me fill you in on the latest."

She and Barba discussed their current case and discussed strategy. The perp, a 17-year-old, had lawyered up as soon as they said "DNA". So they were just waiting for the public defender's office to send someone over. The boy's parents were with him and were obviously in shock at the charges against their son. So far, all signs pointed to him being guilty.

* * *

Ed tried to focus on his computer, but his phone kept taunting him. His silent phone. He'd sent Olivia a couple texts about dinner. She still hadn't responded after over two hours. He knew she was probably just caught up in a case, but he still felt unsettled.

He turned his attention to the report on his computer. He could still see the phone in the periphery.

"Damn," Tucker cursed under his breath. Then he opened his desk drawer and tossed the phone inside. He slammed the drawer and slouched back in his chair.

Not two minutes went by before he opened the drawer to make sure he didn't have his phone silenced. Then he shook his head. He was being ridiculous. She'd text or call when she had time.

It was after 6 o'clock when she finally wrapped up for the day. Their teenaged perp would be arraigned in the morning, and their victim was spending the night in the hospital due to an allergic reaction to the antibiotics she'd been given to prevent STDs.

Olivia grabbed her phone and saw missed texts from Ed asking about dinner. She was tired and really just wanted to go home, so she told him as much. She invited him to join her later and said they'd order in. It didn't go unnoticed by either of them that at a time she normally would have withdrawn to be alone, she didn't push him away.

Ed was relieved. He knew it was probably just work that kept her occupied all afternoon, but part of him had bristled at leaving her with Barba. He was trying hard not to feel jealous, but this whole situation agitated him.

He also knew that the 8:30 time she'd given him meant Noah would be in bed, so he'd be able to talk to her. He hoped she wasn't upset with him because he hadn't done anything wrong. Unless him being annoyed by Barba's interruption was somehow not allowed.

Tucker told her he'd pick up dinner on his way, and she didn't object or even ask where he was going. He smiled to himself as he walked out of the Thai restaurant with their takeout and hailed a cab. His smile faded when he let his thoughts wonder. As much as he didn't want to acknowledge it, there was still a small part of him that was waiting of the other shoe to drop. After all they'd been through, sometimes it just seemed to good to be true that they were still making it work.

Olivia poured herself a glass of wine and headed to the living room to wait for Ed. Noah hadn't napped well at daycare, so he'd gone down even earlier than usual. She was thankful for the few extra minutes to herself. She knew Ed was annoyed with her reaction to Barba's interruption, but she honestly had no explanation.

Her phone chirped, and she knew it'd be a text from Ed saying he was downstairs. He thoughtfully refrained from using the buzzer when he knew Noah was asleep. She popped up and buzzed him in. Then she went to refill her wine glass, not wanting him to know that she was already starting her second.

Ed knocked lightly before opening her door. She met him and took the bag of food. She smiled when she saw it was from her favorite Thai restaurant. It was too far to deliver, so it was a rare treat.

"Wow, my favorite. Thanks," she said putting it on the counter before going to get some plates.

"Of course," he said as though it wasn't a big deal. To him, it wasn't. It was just more of his determination to be mindful of how important she was in his life and to show her in the little ways that added up over time.

"What's with the special treatment today?" She asked. "First, with the coffee and now this. I know it was way out of your way."

"It's not that far," he said minimizing the effort.

"Well, I appreciate it," she said and kissed him before digging into the bag to retrieve their dinner.

He smiled. That was the point, he thought. He watched her dish up a plate for each of them.

"You want wine or bourbon?" She asked.

He looked around and saw the already opened wine bottle on the coffee table. "Wine's good."

She handed him their plates and went to grab another wine glass. They met up in the living room. As soon as they sat down, he reached over grabbed a bite of her shrimp with his chopsticks, prompting her to swipe a piece of his chicken. They exchanged a smile and then went back to eating off of their own plates.

"Mmm, so good." She said in appreciation of the spicy curry he'd brought her. She was again surprised at how well he seemed to remember all of her favorites. She knew his general food preferences, but she wasn't sure she could name his favorite restaurant, let alone his favorite meal. She'd have to fix that.

"I'm glad you like it," Ed said simply. They ate for a while in silence, but he couldn't help himself from diving right in. "So how'd things go with Barba?"

She swallowed her last bite with some added effort. He wasn't wasting any time. "It's going to take him some time to get used to seeing us together. It'll be fine."

"Okay," he said. He wanted to ask her why she reacted the way she did, but he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"I'm sorry it was so awkward," she said as if reading his thoughts. "I honestly don't know what that was."

"We weren't doing anything wrong," Ed said.

"I know," Olivia said with a sigh. "I just… I don't know. I felt caught."

"Well, we were," he said with a smirk. "But jeez Liv, it's not like I had my hand up your shirt or something. It was just a kiss."

She nodded and gave him a small laugh. "You're right."

"Are you sure this isn't going to be an issue?" He asked with some hesitation.

She looked at him, not quite sure how to answer since she it seemed there was something he wasn't saying behind the question.

"Look, I get that you're not into PDA, especially in front of your squad or at the station, but today…" Ed trailed off.

He didn't want to say out loud the thoughts that had been plaguing him all afternoon. Fear that deep down she really was ashamed of their relationship. He couldn't say he wouldn't understand if she was. However, now that they'd been outed, he thought it wouldn't be such a big deal.

"Today," he continued. "It seemed like maybe you still weren't ready for our relationship to be public."

Olivia reached for his now empty plate and stacked it with hers on the coffee table. Then she scooted closer to him. He stilled.

"I think that cat's out of the bag already," she said. Her voice was low and steady. She looked him in the eye seeing the toll that the last few days and weeks had taken on his confidence.

She ran her hands up his arms and over his shoulders before letting them come to rest at the base of his neck. He watched her in silence.

"I'm not embarrassed about us," she assured. She ran her thumbs over his jaw before kissing him lightly. "Noah and I are so lucky to have you in our lives, and I don't care about the past or what anyone else might think."

She kissed him again. This time with more intensity. She still didn't know why she reacted the way she did earlier today, but she was determined, once again, to ease any doubts he might have about her commitment to making this work with him.

Ed let her actions and words push the uncertainty out of his mind. Neither of them were one to say something just to appease the other, so he didn't doubt her assurances. And the way Olivia was kissing him right now, left no room for any doubt at all.

She finally pulled back and let her forehead rest on his. "I'm sorry if the way I reacted with Barba today made you feel otherwise."

"I understand," he said, but knowing that wasn't fully true he quickly added. "Kind of."

"Really, I don't know why I overreacted the way I did," she said.

"Well, if I'd been doing what I really wanted to do to you at that moment, you'd have had a reason to…," he teased. He wanted this behind them, so he could get her back in his arms.

She laughed, and just like that, his fears were gone. Besides, she invited him to happy hour with her squad, so she wasn't avoiding being seen with him.

"Let's move this to the bedroom," she said pulling back and starting to reach for their plates to clean up.

Ed stopped her. "Let me get those." She let him take the plates from her and rolled her shoulders. "Why don't you just relax?" He said. "I'll take care of this stuff."

She eyed him, a little skeptical of his continued doting. He just cocked his head and gave her his signature shy smile. The one that said he knew he'd made the right move, but he didn't want to be acknowledged for it.

"And then I'll take care of you," he called as he headed toward the kitchen with their dishes.

She just smiled and headed toward her bedroom. If he wanted to take care of her tonight, she was't going to argue.

* * *

The rest of the week went smoothly. Olivia and Barba slowly eased back into working together. Tucker was spending more nights at her apartment than his own. Their perp pled out, and their victim recovered. If SVU could just get through a couple more hours, they'd be able to make their planned happy hour.

Dodds insisted that he'd be on duty. He was the newest to the squad, and his dad hadn't made things any easier on any of them. He promised that if things were quiet, he'd drop by later.

Olivia knew he felt it was some sort of penance for his father, so she let it slide. Besides, someone had to stay at least until the end of the shift. Everyone else started heading to the bar around four.

She texted Tucker to see when he was going to meet them. As she waited for his response, she started collecting her things. A knock at the door cause her to look up. She was expecting to find an ever eager Carisi, so she was surprised to see Ed.

"Hey," she said warmly. "I though you were going to meet us there."

"I finished early," he said and crossed the room to give her a brief embrace. "So I thought I'd come walk over with you."

She surprised him by letting the hug linger. He was definitely aware of her wide open office door.

"It's out of your way," she said pulling away and finishing her task of packing up. "What, did you take a cab here?"

"I don't mind," he answered. He truly didn't mind. "It just means I get a few more minutes with you."

"Thanks," she said. Her voice had taken on the breathy quality it got when her emotions were threatening to make an appearance.

"Place looks empty," he said and nodded toward the door. "You have a light day?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," she said. Was their ever a light day at SVU? "I think everyone else already took off. I was just helping Dodd's with some last minute scheduling issues, but I think he's got what he needs."

"So he won't be joining us?" Ed was trying hard to separate Mike from his father, but he still hadn't fully warmed up to Dodds Jr.

"Not now, but maybe later," Olivia said. Her disappointment was clear, so he tried to act like it mattered to him, too. "I know he's not your favorite person, but he's a good guy."

"I know, I know." Ed said as he took her bag from her shoulder and followed her out of the office. They were still chatting as they walked through the squad room toward the elevators.

"Have fun tonight, Lieutenant," Dodds called to them. "You, too, Captain."

"Thanks," Olivia answered.

"I hope you can join us later, Sergeant," Ed said sincerely. If it would make Olivia happy, he'd get on board with it.

"Thank you, Captain," Dodds said obviously surprised. "I'll try."

Olivia squeezed his arm in appreciation as they stepped onto the elevator. He just laughed and shook his head. He was so whipped. He would literally do anything for this woman.

"What?" She asked as the elevator doors closed leaving them alone.

"Nothing, Liv, nothing." He said. Then he draped his arm around her shoulders. She realized he wasn't going to tell her what he was on about, so she leaned into his side, content that he seemed to be in a good mood at least somewhat due to her.

When the elevator stopped, Ed let his hand slide down from her shoulder and rest at the small of her back.

She let him guide her out of the building and smiled to herself. She had no idea what had gotten into him lately. He'd always been thoughtful, but the past couple days he'd been down right chivalrous. It felt nice, to be treated with such care and attention, but it also felt strange to be taken care of.

They covered the short walk mostly in silence, arms linked. When they were just a couple blocks away he finally spoke.

"You're sure this won't feel awkward?" Ed asked. This was the first time they'd be together in a social setting with her squad. Dodds was really the only person who'd seen them out and about during the recent job shuffling, and that wasn't really a casual thing.

"Maybe it will to them," she answered honestly. She felt the muscles in his arm twitch at her honesty. "But… they'll get over it."

"Humph," he sighed.

"It'll be fine," she said. "Let's just have a good time. If we don't act weird, they won't act weird."

He pulled his arm from hers and slipped it around her waist pulling her into his side. Their hips bumped along the last few steps to the bar. He knew she was right. The detectives would look to her to set the tone, so they just had to act normally.

Ed let go of Olivia so he could open the door. She immediately spotted Fin standing at a hightop off to the left. Rollins was seated on a barstool next to him and they'd managed to secure one other stool. Carisi was just approaching them with two beers, one of which he handed to Fin.

"Hey guys," Olivia called to them as she and Ed approached.

"Please sit," Carisi told Olivia as he motioned to the chair. She wasn't going to refuse because she knew she'd lose the fight. None of the men around her would sit if she was standing.

The group exchanged greetings, and Ed went to get him and Olivia a drink. Bourbon, neat for him and on the rocks for her.

After an hour or so, they were still having a good time and Dodd's texted that he was going to stop by soon. Ed fielded Carisi's seemingly endless questions. Fin listened in while Amanda and Liv caught up on their kids.

Ed watched Olivia interact easily with the detectives, giving them each attention while never fully losing sight of him. He let his arm drape over the back of her barstool, and she periodically brushed her shoulder against him or tapped his elbow to draw him to a particular point of the conversation.

He followed her lead and didn't refrain from incidental touches, but he didn't take it any further. So he was surprised when she took his hand and stood suggesting they go buy the group another round. Dodd's arrived just as they were heading to the bar, so they took his drink order as well.

When they got to the slightly crowded bar, Olivia stepped in front of Ed and squeezed up to the bar to try and get the bartenders attention. Ed wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed himself into her back. She wiggled her ass in response and shot him a smile over her shoulder.

To their right people were shifting around as different customers tried to approach the bar to order. Ed and Olivia weren't paying that much attention. She was trying to catch the bartender's eye, and he was enjoying the few minutes away from the prying eyes and ears of the others.

"I'm glad we did this," he said. "Seeing you interact with them outside of work is nice."

"And they seem perfectly unfazed by you being here," she answered simply and leaned forward over the bar a bit further trying to find the bartender. Her movement caused her ass to dig into him, and he let out a low rumble in her ear. She shivered.

"Lieutenant," he said with a slight edge to his voice.

"Sorry," she said with a small laugh. She hadn't really meant to tease him, but she wasn't sorry about his reaction.

"Are you?" He teased back.

"Well," she said. "Maybe this should be our last round." Then she leaned back into him once again. He practically growled in response.

"I can't wait to get you home and out of those clothes," he said with an almost predatory edge to his voice.

Before Olivia could respond, she heard a familiar clearing of the throat next to her and closed her eyes. Of all people to have overheard that, it had to be him.

"Barba," she breathed and then turned to look at the man who'd worked his way through the bar crowd and was now standing next to them. "I didn't know you were coming."

 **Poor Barba just keeps showing up at the wrong time! Or the right time, depending on how you look at it ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

" _Well," she said. "Maybe this should be our last round." Then she leaned back into him once again. He practically growled in response._

" _I can't wait to get you home and out of those clothes," he said with an almost predatory edge to his voice._

 _Before Olivia could respond, she heard a familiar clearing of the throat next to her and closed her eyes. Of all people to have overheard that, it had to be him._

" _Barba," she breathed and then turned to look at the man who'd worked his way through the bar crowd and was now standing next to them. "I didn't know you were coming."_

"Uh, hey Liv," Barba answered ignoring Tucker for the moment. "Carisi invited me, but I wasn't sure if I could make it."

"Well, I'm glad you did." Olivia said quickly before he could apologize or say anything else to make this situation more awkward.

Ed hadn't moved, so Olivia patted his arms at her waist signaling him to ease up. Instead he just gave her a squeeze. She fought the urge to roll her eyes and tapped his shin with the heel of her boot.

Just then, the bartender came over to take their order. Ed finally loosened his hold on her and leaned forward so his right elbow could rest on the bar. He kept one hand on her hips and twisted them slightly so they were sort of facing Barba.

"What are you having, Counselor?" Ed prompted when the bartender looked around their threesome for orders. "This round's on us."

Olivia ignored both men and ordered for everyone, including Barba. _This round's on us._ Like they shared some kind of funds. She knew Ed was just needling Barba unnecessarily, and it irked her.

Barba did roll his eyes, but he heard Liv order his standard scotch on the rocks along with a slew of other drinks. When the bartender returned with the last beer, Barba immediately handed him his credit card.

Olivia shook her head and grabbed two of the drinks from the bar. "Can each of you grab one of those and meet me at the table?" She nodded toward the remaining drinks on the bar. Ed immediately snatched up their two bourbons and followed her.

Barba was stuck waiting for his credit card, so he took a sip of his scotch and took a deep breath. This thing was hard enough for him to accept. He didn't need Tucker goading him on top of it.

Olivia passed two beers to Carisi and Rollins and explained that the rest were on their way. Ed was just behind her and slid her drink over to her before resuming his spot behind her barstool. This time, when he rested his arm on the back, she leaned forward away from him.

Before Ed could react, Barba showed up with the rest of their drinks. Fin and Rollins greeted him with surprise. Apparently Carisi made the invitation completely on his own.

Olivia laughed to herself. Carisi just wanted everything back to normal. She had no doubt that he purposefully kept his invitation to Barba quiet because the rest of them might not have reacted positively. She knew that her team was protective of her, and that like Ed, they partially blamed Barba for her temporary reassignment, right or wrong.

If Carisi only knew what had just transpired, what he'd inadvertently set up. After their brief hellos, an uneasy quiet settled over the table.

"So Counselor," Carisi said. "Glad you could make it after all."

"Thanks, Carisi." Barba said trying, unsuccessfully to hide his annoyance.

Fin turned to Rollins and started talking about a case. He wasn't about to get involved in the shit show unraveling in front of them.

Amanda was relieved, she didn't fully understand why, but she felt the tension ratchet up. She elbowed Carisi and asked him about a particular detail on the case knowing that would distract him. The trio ended up in a huddle on the opposite side of the table.

Barba's skin was crawling. Why the hell did he think this would be a good idea? He just wanted to hang out with them, try to get back some sense of normalcy. Admittedly, he didn't know that Tucker would be there, but he should have guessed as much.

Tucker stood rigid behind Olivia's barstool. When the other detectives pointedly left the group, she'd turned sideways on the chair and leaned onto the table. Ed caught her obvious move to keep the physical distance between them and clenched his jaw. Ten minutes ago, they'd been one drink away from ditching this crew and heading home to bed. Now, he'd be lucky if she even let him walk her to her apartment.

Olivia studied Barba and ignored Ed. Barba seemed incredibly uncomfortable. At this point, she couldn't take back what he'd heard here or seen earlier. It shouldn't matter, and she wanted to scream. Finally, she decided that the situation would best be resolved without her.

Ed stumbled back a step when Olivia abruptly hopped off the barstool and announced that she was going to step outside to check in with Lucy. Ed was about to offer to walk her out when she shot him a look.

"Why don't you two… talk," she said with an almost threatening tone in her voice. Neither man was going to argue with her, so they just watched her walk away.

* * *

Olivia pulled her cell phone out of her pocket as she headed for the door. She wasn't sure why. She didn't really need to check in with her nanny. Lucy had already texted her twenty minutes earlier that she'd go ahead and get Noah his bath and have him ready for bed in case Liv and Ed wanted to stay out later.

Olivia had originally texted back in the affirmative, thinking she and Ed might stop for a quiet dinner before heading in for the night. Now, she wasn't sure she wanted to invite him home. His behavior toward Barba was unnecessary, and it annoyed her.

Ed and Barba both watched in stunned silence as she walked right out the door. Then they turned back to each other.

"You just keep showing up at the least opportune times," Ed said dryly.

Barba didn't answer. He didn't know what to do about this situation anymore, and right now, he just wanted to smack that smirk off Tucker's face. He watched with intrigue as Tucker's smile faded and he shook his head.

"Barba," Tucker began. "You and I both care about Olivia, right?"

"Of course," Barba answered without hesitation.

"And you're not interested…" Ed stumbled over his words a little before continuing. "…in her beyond…"

"She's one of my closest friends," Barba interrupted. He knew what Ed was getting at. There was no use spelling it out.

"Okay, I'm not gonna pretend that I'm not still pissed at how you handled things," Tucker said trusting that Barba knew what he was referring to. "But, Olivia has forgiven you, so for her sake, I'll try to move on."

"That's fair," Barba said. "I just want her to be happy."

"Me, too." Ed said quickly.

* * *

Olivia stepped outside into the crisp air and flipped through her emails. Anything to get her mind off of whatever conversation was going on inside. She half expected Ed and Barba to come crashing through the door after her.

"That was awkward," Fin said startling her.

She cocked an eyebrow at him wondering why he followed her. He just shrugged.

"Thought you could use some neutral company," he said with his signature coolness under any circumstance.

"So it's that obvious?" She asked wearily.

"I'm not sure what _it_ is," he said suggestively. "But, yeah, it's obvious."

Olivia sighed. She didn't really want to talk to Fin about this, but the two people that she would normally talk to about such things were the problem.

"Ed's not ready to forgive Barba for turning us in," she said. "And Barba thinks my relationship with Ed is going to end our friendship."

"Jealousy is an ugly thing, just let them work it out." Fin said. He was on Liv's side. Period. He didn't think she should worry herself with two men who didn't see that there wasn't a competition. Olivia had the biggest heart of anyone he knew, and he knew that she'd make room for all of them.

"But how can they be jealous of each other?" Olivia practically whined. They each had a totally different relationship with her, and she didn't understand why they seemed to think they had to be mutually exclusive.

"Liv, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret." Fin said and looked to the bar's exit to make sure they were still alone. "People, especially male people, but pretty much all people, want to be important to you."

She scoffed. Fin held up a hand.

"Hear me out," he said. "The last couple years, you and Barba have been good friends."

She started to protest again thinking he meant there was more to it than there was. He just waved her off.

"He's like your once annoying, suddenly relevant and supportive brother," he continued. "I get it."

She laughed at that. She wasn't sure that was how Barba would have construed their relationship, but it was kind of accurate.

"This thing with Tucker though," he started.

Olivia braced herself. She and Fin hadn't talked about this at all, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what he thought.

"It's cool, Liv," he assured her. "I may not get it, but I trust you."

She smiled at him. Why couldn't all the men in her life be this even-keeled?

"But it did kinda catch us all off guard," Fin continued.

"I know," she said. "I'm sorry, I just…"

"Hey, hey," he stopped her. "You don't have to explain or justify to me. I'm just saying, I get why Barba may have felt blindsided." She shook her head, and he just gave her another shrug.

"Do you think they'll ever be okay with each other?" She asked honestly.

"Yeah, they'll get there," Fin answered. "They both care too much about you to let each other get in the way."

"Hmm," she sighed. "I hope you're right."

"Trust me," he said and nodded toward the door. "We should get back in there before they give the bartender a reason to call the cops."

Olivia laughed and followed his lead. Fin was irreplaceable, ever practical and always had her back. She was lucky to have so many people in her life who cared about her. She knew it was that care that led to Ed's and Barba's issues, so she trusted Fin's instinct that they would work it out.

* * *

Olivia and Fin made their way back to their table to find Barba alone. Olivia's stomach knotted immediately.

"Tucker just went to the restroom," Barba offered, then he nodded toward the back. "And I think Amanda and Carisi are playing darts."

"Well, I think I'm gonna head out," Fin said seeing that there apparently wasn't a major confrontation. "Night's still young."

Olivia laughed at him and nodded. "Thanks Fin, have a good night." He gave a sly grin and disappeared into the crowded bar on his way back out.

"Liv," Barba began.

"Barba, wait," Olivia said.

"No, hear me out," Barba insisted. "Admittedly, my timing has sucked today."

She raised her eyebrows.

"But," he continued. "I'm going to start wearing a bell around my neck."

"Barba," she said with a laugh. "Actually, maybe you should do that."

He took her jibe. "I'm gonna head out."

"You don't have to go," she said.

"I know," Barba said. "It'll get easier. I'll get better at it."

"Thank you for sticking it out," she said with a hint of uncertainty.

"Liv, I'm your friend 'til we're 85, remember?" He teased. "You're not getting rid of me."

"I'm glad," she said sincerely.

He turned to leave, and she stopped him with a loose hug. He said something to her that caused her to laugh and shove him away. He was laughing, too as he turned to leave.

Across the bar, Ed watched their exchange and tried not to react. It was a simple hug. It didn't mean anything. He took a deep breath and steeled himself.

He thought he and Barba had reached an agreement. He didn't know why he felt so differently about Barba than he did about Fin. He hadn't missed Fin following Olivia out of the bar earlier, and he wasn't the least bit bothered by it.

However, seeing Barba hug her and make her throw her head back in laughter made Ed anger bubble back to the surface. Even after Olivia's and Barba's assurances that there was nothing more friendship there, Ed was jealous. Of what, he didn't even know. Nonetheless, he strode forward, one purpose in mind.

Barba left the bar and smiled to himself. He and Liv were finally somewhat normal. He still didn't feel that Tucker had fully forgiven him, but he took some solitude in their gentleman's agreement to play nice for Liv's sake. Maybe eventually they'd actually find neutral ground.

Unaware he was being followed, Barba decided to walk a while. He was a few dozen blocks from his condo, but right now he didn't care.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I'm a little stuck on this one, so forgive the randomness.

 _Across the bar, Ed watched their exchange and tried not to react. It was a simple hug. It didn't mean anything. He took a deep breath and steeled himself._

 _He thought he and Barba had reached an agreement. He didn't know why he felt so differently about Barba than he did about Fin. He hadn't missed Fin following Olivia out of the bar earlier, and he wasn't the least bit bothered by it._

 _However, seeing Barba hug her and make her throw her head back in laughter made Ed anger bubble back to the surface. Even after Olivia's and Barba's assurances that there was nothing more friendship there, Ed was jealous. Of what, he didn't even know. Nonetheless, he strode forward, one purpose in mind._

 _Barba left the bar and smiled to himself. He and Liv were finally somewhat normal. He still didn't feel that Tucker had fully forgiven him, but he took some solitude in their gentleman's agreement to play nice for Liv's sake. Maybe eventually they'd actually find neutral ground._

 _Unaware he was being followed, Barba decided to walk a while. He was a few dozen blocks from his condo, but right now he didn't care._

Barba quickly realized he didn't want to walk. It had cooled off considerably since he'd arrived, and he didn't have a coat. He hailed a cab after walking only two short blocks. He was happy that Olivia was taking everything in stride and didn't seem hold his poor timing against him. He hoped Tucker meant what he said about letting things go for her sake.

He told the cabbie his home address as he climbed into the backseat. As he leaned back and watched the city go by, he wished he could get today's images out of his mind. He was happy if Liv was happy, but he did not need to think of her and Tucker…together.

On the street corner, his shadow stomped out a cigarette and made note of the address he heard the ADA give to the cab driver. Then he turned and headed back in other direction.

Back at the bar, Olivia shifted on her stool and looked around for Ed. She finally spotted him waking toward her from the front of the bar. She stood to meet him.

"You ready to get out of here?" He asked her.

"Yeah," she answered flatly.

"We're good here?" Ed said as he looked around to make sure their group was either gone or taken care of.

"Tab is paid, and we're the only ones left." She said, again her voice was even and tight.

"I'll walk you home," he said. It wasn't so much a statement as it was a question.

Olivia just shrugged. _Chivalrous bastard._

Maybe he and Barba had made up, maybe they didn't. She was still frustrated with Tucker's earlier behavior, and she wasn't even sure why it bothered her so much. But she didn't want to argue with him anymore tonight.

Sensing her annoyance, Ed didn't push the conversation. Regardless, it was after ten, and while he knew she could take care of herself, he planned to see her home.

They walked in silence. Ed's mind was a sea of thought. The longer they walked, the heavier the silence seemed. He didn't know what to say because he couldn't really explain his overreaction.

At the next corner, he grabbed Olivia's elbow to direct them down a side street out of the heavy foot traffic on 5th Avenue. She didn't react or resist, so he didn't let go. He also didn't do what he wanted to do and slide his arm from her elbow around the back of her waist. He just loosely held her arm as they navigated the streets of Manhattan.

He wanted to tell her he was sorry. He wanted to tell her that he'd been so worried about how the whole situation with his cousin, her transfer, him being falsely implicated all just seemed to crash down around him.

He'd buried it at the time because he didn't have much choice. Then, somehow, all of that anxiety got funneled into anger at Barba. He knew that wasn't fair or even logical. It just was. He shook his head slightly. They'd made it through one of their most difficult times professionally, and it only brought them closer together. Now, it was his own actions that were causing the rift between them.

Out of the corner of her eye, Olivia saw him shake his head. She knew he wanted to talk, so she wasn't sure why he wasn't saying anything. She didn't know what to say about it anymore. This jealous, brooding side was not something she found appealing, so she hoped he figured it out sooner rather than later.

* * *

On the other side of town, Barba made it to his apartment. He dropped his keys and phone on the coffee table and went to pour himself another scotch. Being late to the happy hour meant that he only had time for one drink. After the day he'd had, then the ridiculous encounter at the bar, he wanted a little more to numb him.

Maybe it'd help him sleep through the night for a change. For weeks now, he'd been getting calls from untraceable or blocked numbers all hours of the day and night on both his cell and his landline. When he answered, they'd just hang up. He would block the number and get a few hours respite before the calls would start again from a new number.

Barba sipped his scotch and picked up his tablet to check out the news. After a few minutes he realized he'd read the same paragraph three times and still had no idea what the article was even bout.

He was thinking about the night. It was such a relief that things seemed to be worked out with Liv, despite his timing issues. And Tucker seemed to genuinely want to put the past in the past.

His phone vibrated, and the sudden intrusion to the silence almost made him drop his glass. Shaking it off he retrieved the phone and was relieved to see a text from his mom. She was reminding him that he promised meet her in the morning to help her get some boxes from her storage locker in the basement of her building. He responded in the affirmative and made sure to set his alarm.

An hour later, Barba was halfway through his second scotch and was finally starting to feel the effects. He'd given up on the news and was now mindlessly flipping through channels on TV.

A knock on his door startled him. There were only a handful of people who could get past his doorman without Barba's approval, and none of them would be here this late. It was going on 11pm.

He checked his phone to make sure he hadn't missed a call or text. Nothing. He got up to see who it was, and uncharacteristically checked the peephole before opening the door. He saw no one, so he unlocked and opened the door.

He jumped when he felt something fall against his feet as he opened his door. Looking down, he found a manila envelope with his name written on it.

Barba took a step backwards and stooped to pick up the package. He looked down the hallway in both direction. There was no one to be seen.

He backed all the way into his apartment and shut the door before daring to open the envelope. He was puzzled by what he found. A newspaper page that had an article about a case he'd recently won. The article included a picture of him.

When he looked closer he saw that his face had been scratched out. It looked like someone had gone at the black and white photo with an eraser until it his likeness had been worn off.

He flipped the paper over. Nothing. He looked inside the envelope. Nothing.

The peace of his evening and the numbing of the drinks he'd consumed vanished. It had started with emails, then phone calls at his office. Then the calls to his cell phone and home number started. But now, this was delivered to his home. As an ADA, his address was purposefully unlisted and unavailable. Had someone followed him?

Barba shook his head trying to clear his thoughts and went to put the envelope and paper clipping in his briefcase. He'd add it to his file on Monday. He downed the rest of his drink and double and triple checked the lock on his door before he finally went to bed.

* * *

When Ed and Olivia got to her apartment almost twenty minutes later, she didn't give him any indication of what she wanted him to do. He'd been spending at least half his nights with her these days, but she was obviously unhappy with him tonight.

Without a word Olivia fished her keys from her purse, unlocked the front door of her building and headed inside. When she didn't say anything, Ed followed. Silence again reigned in the elevator ride and the walk to her door.

It struck Ed that it wasn't an awkward, neither of them had anything to say, kind of silence. It was more that there was so much that needed to be said, they couldn't figure out where to start.

Once in her apartment, he didn't interfere when she talked to Lucy and caught up on her son's activities for the day. He took off his jacket and took a seat in the living room.

"I'm going to check on Noah." She finally spoke.

"Okay." He loosened his tie and un buttoned the top button on his dress shirt.

After a few minutes she joined him, but she was back to being mute. He found her ability to not speak truly astonishing and somewhat terrifying. Through her silence, he couldn't tell if she was shutting him out, shutting down or just plain mad.

Ed was bursting with things to say. He wanted to tell her that he and Barba had talked and everything was okay. The walk home had cured him of any lingering doubt or jealousy. He didn't care about Barba anymore. If she wanted to be friends with him and repair their relationship, he wouldn't stop her.

Before all of this started, he was sure they were on a path to something much more serious. Now, he just wanted to make sure they weren't losing ground. That they were okay.

Olivia studied him. She'd sensed a shift in him on the walk to her apartment. He was trying. She knew that much was true. She was still annoyed. That's why she kept her mouth shut. She didn't want to say something she'd regret. She needed to know what was going on in his head, so she could know how to react. He needed to figure out how to talk to her.

The silence was getting to both of them. He stood and walked toward her, but she held up a hand. There was one thing that had to happen before anything else.

"If you're staying," she began causing Ed to look at her in surprise that she was leaving the decision up to him.

"You have to go take a shower first," she finished.

Ed's eyes shot up to hers. He was caught. He'd made sure to pop a piece of gum on the walk home, but he knew it was stupid to think she wouldn't smell the smoke on him.

"I'm trying to quit. I basically have," he said quietly. He knew it had been a bad idea to sneak out of the bar and smoke the cigarette he bummed from the bartender. It was down right stupid to think that gum would keep her from noticing.

"I'm not calling you out," she said sincerely. "But you know why. I don't want it on me or my clothes or my sheets, so go."

"Noah," he said. He knew the kid had asthma and that smoke, even residual smoke on their clothes, wasn't good for him to be around.

"I'm not mad. I get it," Olivia said somewhat believably. She knew he smoked when he was stressed. She ran one hand down his arm in an attempt to make some connection and used the other to push him toward the back of the apartment. She didn't want to fight with him about cigarettes right now.

"Go," she said again.

Ed let her direct him. She seemed slightly less annoyed than she had been earlier, and he knew better on the smoking thing. He was just relieved and slightly surprised she wasn't kicking him out for the night.

"Okay," he said. "I still want to talk."

"I know," she answered with a sigh as he turned and walked toward the bathroom.

Olivia was still frustrated with their whole situation. She felt like he was doubting them. Like everything that had happened in the past few weeks and months was finally catching up to them. It felt like the other shoe was starting to drop.

Ed sighed and tried to let the hot water of the shower ease some of his tension. Since they'd agreed to give this relationship a shot, he hadn't felt this far apart from her. It killed him. It they got through the whole ordeal with his Cousin Eugene, they could get past this. Couldn't they?


	7. Chapter 7

" _Okay," he said. "But I still want to talk."_

" _I know," she answered with a sigh as he walked toward the bathroom._

 _Olivia was still frustrated with their whole situation. She felt like he was doubting them. Like everything that had happened in the past few weeks and months was finally catching up to them. It felt like the other shoe was starting to drop._

 _Ed sighed and tried to let the hot water of the shower ease some of his tension. Since they'd agreed to give this relationship a shot, he hadn't felt this far apart from her. It killed him. It they got through the whole ordeal with his Cousin Eugene, they could get past this. Couldn't they?_

* * *

After what had to be the world's fastest shower, Ed emerged from the bathroom to find Olivia in the middle of changing clothes. She pulled a t-shirt over her head and turned to him.

She smiled a little when she saw that he'd taken the time to dry off before traipsing water everywhere like he often did. Just another example of his continued doting, despite the side drama.

Ed had put on a pair of boxers and was running a towel over his short cropped hair. He wanted to continue their conversation. He wanted to try to explain why he reacted the way he did, but he was having trouble getting started.

"Ed," she began.

"Liv, wait," he said stopping her. He didn't know how to begin, but knew he wanted to go first. "I'm sorry about this week. I'm not trying to hold this Barba thing over you."

His gaze fell as he sat down on the side of the bed. There was so much he wanted to say. He'd worked it all out in his head during her prolonged silence. Now, he couldn't seem to find the words, but he was determined.

"I know you care about him," he continued. "I don't want to make you feel like I expect you to choose between me and Barba or anyone who's important to you."

She listened and watched as he rubbed his hands over his knees. She hadn't seen the normally unflappable Ed Tucker this rattled in weeks.

"I don't want to be that person. I don't want you to ever feel like you don't want to talk to me or be near me."

She felt like he was reading more into her earlier reaction at the bar than she'd intended. Sure she was frustrated with him at the bar. That's why she'd put a little physical distance between them. She was angry, but she just wanted a little space until he stopped acting like a jealous jerk.

He'd fallen silent, so she looked up at him. He looked unsure, something she never thought she see in his eyes. Did he really believe that she thought he expected her to choose? And that if so, she wouldn't have flipped. She wanted to laugh at the absurdity, but he seemed to be genuinely worried. She didn't know if she should be hurt by his doubt or sympathetic. She went with the latter.

"Hey," she tried again. She walked over to the foot of the bed.

"I'm sorry," he interrupted her again. "I don't even know what I'm trying to say."

"Ed," she said more forcefully and finally went to sit next to him. "Stop."

He stopped talking. He stopped moving. After a painfully quiet few seconds, he turned to look at her. He was expecting to see annoyance, which was there. He also saw a kind of apology. Was it for the situation? Her silence? Something else? He didn't know.

"I'm still annoyed, but I'll get over it." She said as if reading his thoughts. "Do you really think I'd give up on us that easily? After everything else we've been through?"

"Liv, I don't think that," he said. "I don't." It sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was her.

"You sure about that?" She challenged.

"I'm sure," he said and looked her in the eye trying to prove it. "I let the insanity of the past few months get to me."

"How so?" She prodded. She really wanted to understand how this had gotten so blown out of proportion.

"When everything went down with Eugene, and our jobs were on the line," his voice faltered slightly. But he kept going, "When I met you that night…the night you got transferred, the night Barba turned us in… I came there expecting the worst."

He wasn't making sense. It was like he threw his thoughts into a blender and was just spitting them out as they came. Olivia reached over and grabbed his hand trying to give him some grounding.

"I was going to tell you to let me go," Ed said. Seeing the hurt in her eyes at his confession, he quickly tried to explain. When he'd first asked her to meet him that night, he just wanted to fill her in on what he knew and figure out what she knew.

As he waited for her to arrive, and he realized how bad it might get, his mind started feeding on his own worries. Concern for her started to take over. He thought she'd be better off without him. He knew he hadn't done anything wrong, but how long would it take to prove, how far would he be dragged through the mud, how would his own cousin's involvement affect him? Affect her? Affect them? He was reeling that night.

"Ed," she said with a tear in her voice. How could he think she'd just abandon him? Suspect him? Walk away from him?

"Then you walked in," he said ignoring her interruption. "I saw you, and immediately I felt calm. I felt foolish for ever worrying."

She studied him. That was how she recalled the evening. At the time, he hadn't seemed to doubt her or them at all. She guessed that she'd misjudged his ability to conceal his feelings.

"You didn't express an ounce of doubt in me or us," he continued. "Then you got the call from 1PP."

It was humbling watching Captain Ed Tucker bare his heart to her. She was thankful for his trust and vulnerability, but she also wanted to make sure he wasn't still in that place of uncertainty.

Neither Ed nor Olivia was one to need a lot of explanation. They accepted each other and that was that, so these moments of such divulgence were to be respected, even revered.

"After that, I just focused on supporting of you. Then, as things got resolved, I realized that you weren't going anywhere."

She squeezed his hand.

"I was so keyed up, all over the place," he said. "I was so pissed at Eugene. Dodds. Barba. But I pushed that to the side until we knew that our jobs were secure, until I knew that we were okay."

He stopped talking for a minute and let her fill in some of the blanks. He could almost see the pieces coming together for her.

"Then as soon as things calmed down and we got back to work, you were headset on reconciling with Barba."

"And that's the drop that broke the dam," she said.

"Yeah," he answered. "All the shit, all the worry and frustration, everything I'd been holding back unleashed on the one target left."

"So what changed, tonight?" Olivia asked. Given his behavior earlier, she was surprised that he'd come to all of these conclusions in the past hour.

He took her hand in both of his and let their hands rest on his thigh. "Walking home tonight, you were so distant."

She started to say something, but stopped short.

"Wait," he said. "It was how I would have expected you to react after I was put under investigation, after you were transferred, the first time I asked you out."

She gave a small chuckle at the last one. He just squeezed her hand tighter.

"I realized that by not telling you what was going on in my head, by acting like a jealous prick, I was risking the one person that mattered. That was the one fear that drove my…overreaction, but I was the one causing it, not Barba."

"I amangry with you," Olivia said. Ed went completely rigid beside her.

"Was," she corrected. "I was angry with you." She couldn't honestly say that after all he'd just revealed that she didn't understand. And if she understood, she could really be angry anymore.

He relaxed a little. She lightly bumped her shoulder into his and continued.

"Honestly, it was bound to happen, and I'm sure it will happen again."

Ed tensed again.

"Seriously?" She said with a light tease in her voice. She turned her hand in his and laced their fingers together. "You think we're never going to disagree. You think I'm never going to get angry with you again? That I'm never going to tick you off?"

"I know. I hear you."

"My point is," she said. "We're going to disagree, get angry even, but I thought we were both in this for the long haul."

Her voice broke at the end. Ed reached up to nudge her chin just a little bit. She looked at him, and he was pained to see that she was now the one feeling unsure.

"We are, Liv," he said. He dropped his head slightly so his eyes were in line with hers. "I am. Please don't let my insecurity make you doubt my commitment to you, to us, to Noah."

She saw the sincerity in his eyes. "Okay."

"Okay?" He asked, surprised at her easy acceptance.

"I believe you," she said. "And I understand more than you might think. I know what it's like to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop, and then to be so certain that it has. But you and me…," she trailed off.

"Us?" He said, encouraging her to continue.

"We can be different," She said, and she meant it. She'd never been in a relationship like this one.

"We will be," he said. "We are. I think I overreacted because this is so much more. I don't want to lose what we've started here. You're too important to risk losing."

"I feel the same way," she responded in a harsh, emotion-filled whisper. His honesty was almost jarring. She was more certain than ever that she was completely and totally in love with the last person she ever would have expected to capture her heart.

Ed kissed her temple and was about drop his mouth to hers and kiss her fully when he noticed her trying to stifle a yawn. A glance at the clock told him it was after two in the morning. While neither of them had to work tomorrow, Noah would be up at his usual 7am.

"Sorry," she said with an embarrassed laugh.

"It's late," he said. "Why don't we call it a night?"

A soft hum was her only response as he stood and pulled her to him for a real kiss. After a few minutes they broke apart so she could finish getting ready for bed.

When they finally laid down together, he pulled her to him and nuzzled his face in her hair. She leaned into his embrace and gave him a tired moan.

"Let's get some sleep," he said. "Noah's going to be waking us up before we know it."

"Guess the night's not ending how we thought?" Olivia said with a sleepy voice.

"It's ending just fine," he assured and wrapped his arms around her just a little bit tighter.

"Mmm," she responded quickly succumbing to the comfort of being right where she belonged.

"Besides," he whispered in her ear. "I'm not going anywhere, and I've got plans for you and me in this bed tomorrow night."

She shivered at his tone and the feel of his hot breath on her neck. Then she smiled at the promise.

* * *

To be continued, this fall...

a/n: Don't hate me! I know I left Barba hanging, but I based his stalker storyline on the events from the s17 season finale. I don't like writing counter to canon. Soooo, since we don't know what they're doing with that, if anything, I'm waiting until the new season starts before I continue. But I WILL continue. In the meantime, I'll probably start a new Tuckson story soon.


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